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How to Write a Goodbye Letter to a Deceased Loved One

7 March 2023

Have you lost someone you love and feel overwhelmed by emotions? Writing can be a useful tool to help you cope with what you're feeling.

Writing a goodbye letter to a loved one who has passed away can be a perfect way to remember and honor their memory.

In this article, we want to show you how to write a farewell letter to a loved one, to help you honor them in a meaningful way.

In addition, from Áltima, we want to offer you the opportunity to find some comfort, and share your thoughts and feelings with the loved one who has died.

Why write a goodbye letter to a deceased family member?

The death of a loved one is a painful process and sometimes difficult to accept and overcome. Writing a farewell letter is, for many people, a powerful tool for coping with loss and grief.

That is why writing a farewell letter can be a good option to say goodbye to the loved one who has died in a more personal way. It's also a way to express your feelings and express your love. This letter can be a recollection of the good times you shared and the feelings you had for them.

Also, writing a farewell letter can help you process grief in a healthy way, as it can be a way to free yourself from accumulated feelings and put your thoughts in order.

Writing this letter allows you to recall the experiences shared with the person and remember the life they shared and the moments lived, rather than focusing negatively on the loss. This letter can also help you keep your loved one's memories alive.

How to Write a Goodbye Letter to a Loved One

Writing a farewell letter to a loved one can be an emotionally difficult experience. However, if you follow some of these tips below, they can help you write a letter that is meaningful to you and your loved one:

1.Think of a quiet place: The first thing you should do is choose a quiet moment to write the letter. Find a place where you feel really comfortable and free of distractions; All this will make you concentrate and write calmly.

2.Keep shared experiences in mind: Next, think about the best memories you've shared and lived with that person so special to you. It can be anything from a funny anecdote to a special moment they shared; This will help you write a letter with emotion and meaning.

3.What kind of farewell you would like to have: You need to think about how you want to say goodbye. Be honest and sincere in writing down your feelings, don't be afraid or embarrassed to express your pain and sadness. It will really help you to release the accumulated feelings and process your grief in a healthier way.

4.Read it calmly: When you have finished writing the letter, take the time you need to read it, since in this way, it can help you not to miss details that you consider necessary to write, making sure that the letter is as meaningful as possible for you and also for the deceased person.

5.Keep the letter: Finally, you should keep the letter so that you can always remember and honor your deceased loved one. All of this will allow you to keep the memories alive and the memory of your loved one alive.

What to do with a letter written to a person who has died?

Surely, once the letter is finished, you ask yourself: What to do with what is written? However, the correct answer to this will depend on your circumstances and your feelings.

That is why there are several options on what you can do with the letter and, below, we will show you some:

Save the letter

What you have written can be something very personal related to the experiences or moments shared with that person. It's up to you to keep it in a safe place, or if you want to share it with someone else.

Keeping the writing means keeping your memories and emotions with that person forever.

Send the letter

Another way may be to send the letter to family or mutual friends. This will allow them to read it and share your feelings. Surely, they have participated together in specific moments and feel identified.


If you decide to read it aloud, you could read your letter at the time of the funeral of the person who has died, dedicate it to them in a religious ceremony or simply in private.

Destroy the letter

There are several ways to do this: you can burn it or bury it. Right now you're thinking, but why would I bury it? Because it's a good option if you feel better about saying goodbye to your loved one this way.

Whichever option you choose, the most important thing is that you do what makes you feel better. There is no concrete answer to this question and the right decision is up to you. Therefore, you should take the time you need to reflect on your feelings and make a good choice.

Many people choose to keep the letter next to the coffin during cremation, so that it is next to the ashes of the deceased.


Deposit the letter in the funeral home next to the coffin

Another option to consider is to deposit the letter in the funeral home, next to the coffin, during the wake. In this way, the letter will become a public goodbye to the loved one and you can share your memories of that person with the rest of the people who appreciated it in life.

When someone we love leaves, we feel confused and heartbroken. That is why, if you are going through a grieving experience, there are several ways in which you can help you overcome the loss of a loved one, as we have previously mentioned.

Writing a letter and creating a memory space can help honor the memory of the person who is gone and help you heal. But this does not stop here! Meditation and visualization can also be quite a useful tool.

Therefore, remember that each person is different and that you should find the best personal way to cope with pain and grief.